elves... "THEY DON'T WORK FOR SANTA ANYMORE" 
oh yeah... after scouting the hilarious gone wrong cinematic territory of Trolls, a Goblin (passing for Troll) and Hobgoblins, another mythical figure landed on my hard drive yesterday... ELVES!!!
first of all, the title is once again a little deceiving... it spells "elves", but you only get to see one single elf in this really rediculous low budget fucked up psychedellicaly gone wrong hilarious piece of insanity put on video... so it should have been called "elf"!!!
second... the plot!!! OH MY GOD... the writers have gone really berserk while writing this film! I suspect them to have been on severe doses of acid whilst putting this to paper!!!
This is one of the most insane plots I have ever witnessed, and believe me... you WILL piss your pants from laughing watching this!!!
so, hold on tight... an attemt to summarise the plot!
the Nazi's created a killer elf that needs to impregnate a virgin at midnight on christmas eve to create the Arian superrace and bring upon earth... the Fourth Reich!
A department store Santaclaus and ex-detective (Dan Haggert... remember "Grizzly Adams"???
), who chainsmokes Camel cigarettes (really... he is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS smoking a cigarette!!!
) is on a mission to save that girl and stop the evil Nazi elf! The virgin girl lives with her weelchairbound Nazi grandpa, who carefully has incestwise bred her for this event!
oh I'm gonna stop here before I spoil too much! Believe me, it even gets better!!!
the acting...
severe bad acting by the entire cast... hilarious attempts, but nope!!! and that includes Dan Haggert big time!!!
the elf...
expect an elf like you have never seen before and are very lightly to see never again in the future!!!
a truly UGLY, plastic, two-dollar-fifteen-cent creature, with no apparent moving parts and a fixed face with open mouth!!!
Not that you get to see this cheap elf very often... but every time he appeared on screen, I wet my pants LAUGHING!!!
there is a little nudity in this hiddeous atrocity, in the form of a nice MILF, taking a nice bath, being electrocuted by the two-dollar-fifteen-cent plastic nazi creature!
SEE THIS... SEE THIS... A TRUE HILARIOUS HIDDEOUS ATROCITY!!! 8/10!!!
Alas... it has never been released on DVD...
Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:15 am
